THAT Child. These teachers.

http://www.upworthy.com/this-letter-from-a-teacher-dear-parent-about-that-kid-made-me-cry-like-a-baby

I read this on FB today and it truly touched my heart. 3 kids. All boys. I've been the mother of THAT child and I've also been the mother who in my mind says "oh thank God my son is not that child."

I'm not ashamed to say I've been on both sides of this conversation. But I've learned that children need one thing. Love. 

If I could express how grateful I am to the teachers my kids have. They've built them up to get through those phases of tantrums and outrage. Without these teachers, my kids would not be who they are today. These teachers know my children more than I do. They spend more time with my children than I do. I treat them as if they were the third later - asking them what I could do better or what I need to do to help them learn and grow. 

Teachers are the ones raising our kids and building them up. They're a huge influence on our kids lives. We all have that one teacher that we remember and admire and respect. I have several that at the time I hated but now I realize they were helping me to be better and pushing me to my limits so that I could push them further. 

School is hard - no doubt. But it's the teachers we have in combination with parents support that determine children's views on school and learning. 

Respect our teachers. They're raising our children and the future of this world. 

The Battle of the Toothpaste

And there it is again. That dreaded, lifeless, empty tube of toothpaste. You know, honey bunches of oats, we have like ten full tubes downstairs!!!

Oh he knows that. He knows. This is a game now. He's testing me. A game that I will win. I WILL WIN!!

For the longest time - I would walk into the bathroom in the morning and I would find that lifeless, empty tube. Then - I would have to go down those three flights of stairs to get another toothpaste. First thing in the morning!!! I know what you're thinking - just put the full tubes in the upstairs bathroom!

No. ITS THE PRINCIPLE PEOPLE. Like when the rule in the Simpson house was if the garbage falls you take it out. Homer resorted to stapling banana peels to the garbage bin to avoid tipping the leaning tower of garbage JUST so he wouldn't have to take it out. 

Well soap AND toothpaste is our homes' garbage bin fiasco. I will NOT replace the toothpaste. Though it be empty, there be some still. That is my life's mantra. At least until hubby decides to refill it. 

This time - the battle will be won by me! The wife! And if I have to refrain from brushing my teeth due to the empty toothpaste, then SO BE IT. Bring it on husband!

#winning

Signing off,

Stinky Breath mammatch 

The Tooth Fairy

So - Josiah (we call him Joba) lost his tooth about 3 weeks ago. He lost it at school. They took him to the office and put his tooth inside a tooth fairy envelope. He went home all excited and showed me the envelope. I was all excited, and sad cuz jobas getting older, but excited for him. 

He ran and told me "mommy, mommy, I'm going to put this under my pillow and see what the tooth fairy gives me!"

My outside reaction was "OK! Let's see what she gives you!" 

My internal reaction was "who told you about this tooth fairy woman, and I hope she's real. Cuz if she's not - do you take debit?"

So, the afternoon passes. We watch iron man and read stories of giant peaches and such. He soon gets tired and off to bed he goes, leaving the tooth on the windowsill. I forget about it and such too so all is good in the hood. 

A week passes by and joba comes to me and says "mommy, the tooth fairy didn't give me anything."

Womp womp. Riiigghhhht. The tooth! "Well joba! You have to put the envelope under your pillow silly!" 

So the afternoon passes and we read books and watch iron man cartoons and such. The kids go to bed and wake up. Life goes on. 

A week passes and yesterday morning Joba goes "mommy, the tooth fairy didn't give me anything...."

Double womp womp. RIIGGGHHHTT that darned tooth!! 

"Well Joba, I said you have to put it under your pillow! How else is the tooth fairy going to know you lost your tooth, you silly bum!"

"But mom...I did put it under my pillow!"

Triple womps. Internally slaps forehead. 

 "Oh.....well maybe she's on vacation and didn't get a chance to do her duties"

"But mooommmm, it's been under my pillow for over a WEEK!!"

Ultimate #motherfail

This kid is lucky I'm quick minded on Sunday mornings. 

"Well Joba! Maybe she's been on a two week vacation! Sometimes people go on two week vacations you know!"

I'm a genius. 

"Okay mom. Hopefully she comes back soon."

So we go to church, get on with our Sunday afternoon and evening. The kids go to bed. Busy busy day. 11:45pm rolls around...

"OMG Honey!!! Grab some coins and put it under jobas pillow! I told him the tooth fairy was on vacation but she'd be back soon."

Joel runs to my wallet, excitedly pulls out some coinage and sneaks into the kids room and does the magical swap - a month old rotten tooth for a dollar. And he also added a wonderful note. 

The next morning:

Let's just say Josiah was happy the tooth fairy came back from vacation. 

Lessons Learned:

As a parent it's important to be quick minded and witty if you want to trick your children into believing in a fairy who buys rotten teeth from little children. 

Need a Break? Grab a Kid.

There are times when I'm just sitting at home and working and the kids are running around and it's starting to get a bit cray and you're like - where'd he go?

You scream out "POOKIE PIE" or some other term of endearment, searching for your life partner who is there for you in good times and bad. Where he be go? "IM TAKING A DUMP"

Ten minutes later you hear him laughing hysterically watching vines or some sort of gif or meme about some guy falling down the stairs or something. You think to yourself as you're dealing with the stampede of children coming at you "must be nice..."

Well ladies, here's a tip that some of you may already know. It's called the "IM PUTTING THE KIDS TO BED" break. If any of you are like me and have attempted to sit on the potty for longer than 10 minutes only to feel the imprint of the toilet slowly making its way onto your buttocks - you know, it's not as fun as it sounds when your husband is doing it. So, here is my solution and my secret. Hopefully there's no husbands on here. Next time you want a break whether it be in the middle of the day or at night - grab one of the little guys running around, let them know it's time for bed, grab your iPad or phone and some headphones and put the kids to bed. 

You get a free hour, at least, to yourself, watching The OC or browsing Facebook or Instagram. Hopefully your kids are like mine and just lie beside you and stare at you while you do your thing (see image below as I'm attempting my escape right now).

 Otherwise - if your kids aren't so amped about bedtime and don't play into your tomfoolery, then the toilet will be your best bet. That or a really long shower - which doesn't work for me because, well, we run short on hot water fairly early. And the kids like to bang on the door until I'm done which isn't so relaxing. 

Maybe this tip only works for me....

Let me know how it goes!

Winter Hibernation

So it's cold. That means it's like - anything less than 24 degrees. That means I go into winter hibernation. It's a thing.

What does that mean? I absolutely refuse to shave my legs until the weather goes above 24 degrees again.

Hair is good for you! It keeps your legs warm. It's there for a reason. Why deprive the hairs of their purpose?

I see all of us women take a stand this winter. Men have "movember" why is that just men? Why can't women have "movember."  This is all sexism right here. Let's all stop shaving our legs - and hey - why not take an extra step, no arm pit shaving and no upper lip waxing. IT'S MOVEMBER FOR WOMEN TOO PEOPLE!!!

Also - speaking as a mother of 3 (I guess I have to relate this to children since I awkwardly named this blog "Motherblogger") who can really, REALLY afford shavers. They're expensive, and the cheap ones are for one time use (which means I use it until it rusts, which is like 10 times) and, like - the hassle of shaving!

Being in the shower TRYING to shave your legs in peace, when your youngest is screaming and banging on the washroom door, you run out of hot water, your dog is freaking out and crying and clawing at the door. Really. When you're finally done, and everyone is calm, you put on your nice skirt only to realize that you missed an entire section of your leg. Then you end up wearing pants to church instead.

#waste

Women of 3 - We're going on hairstrike #womenof hair